Accept the transparency of silence when you have nothing to say

Being comfortable with silence can be considered a virtue, one could argue. It is important to speak up when you have something to say, because failing to do so may symbolize internal oppression of your own thoughts, which may grow to disproportionate levels if not manifested for long enough.

It is just as important to be able to maintain silence when silence is needed the most, or when there is nothing to say. Silence, however, may feel more uncomfortable than noise, for most people. Conformity taught us from a young age that feeling part of a group is a necessary human condition. Deviating from that norm feels unnatural and “weird”. But there is more to silence than that. If you do not have an opinion on the latest political debate, or you have not gathered enough knowledge to express a clear thought on the hottest societal topic, you do not have to express an opinion right now, even if you are asked to do so (or feel pressured to do so by your social group).

You may do your homework first, and once you have enough components in your mind, you may formulate a thought around the latest hottest topic. Then you can open yourself to discussion, productive argumentation, and the willingness to get as close to the “truth” (if there is one) as possible.

Silence also requires dropping the ego and not caring about social expectations and judgment. Maintaining silence in the crowd is similar to social skills. There are times when you are in a group context and no one may have an opinion or thoughts. In such cases, speaking up is necessary, in order to brainstorm, open up discussion, and construct thoughts and solutions together. Think of a group of university students being tasked with a complex problem-solving project on the supply chain bottleneck in the retail industry during Covid-19. Chances are, most of those students do not have any idea on how to even begin such a task. That is fine. They can apply a beginner’s mindset to group work, and figure things out together. That’s why they are “students” in the first place. That is a powerful group dynamic. Silence is also part of that “beginner’s mind”. When you are silent, you can listen carefully to others in the room. And that can inform your words when the time to speak up arrives.