Being grateful for what you have
There is value in feeling grateful. What you have is enough, depending on how you look at it. I have recently re-listened to a series on Stoic meditations on the Waking Up app by William B. Irvine. “Dukkha” (pain/suffering) is at the basis of the conception of life in the Buddhist tradition, as this series by Alan Watts reminded me. Pain is an inherent part of our existence. Suffering is a choice. Inner suffering is the way we respond to pain. We may cling to an illusion of a life we desire. The inherent change and random nature of life can make us bitter and resentful. That is a choice.
Change is inevitable. The way we deal with it is under our control. That’s the dichotomy of control in Stoic tradition. Some things are under our control, some are not. The way we process pain is under our control. We can be grateful, despite our inherent suffering.
When clinging to desires, we attempt to alienate ourselves from the current reality in pursuit of a seemingly better state of being. Better in what sense? Maybe it’s more monetary wealth or a more fancy house. We may, very likely, have fallen prey to the expectation gap and hedonic adaptation. Our state of being is largely determined by our expectations, as Nat Ware points out in his Ted Talk. Expectations are largely based on what we—and society—consider to be “normal” and socially acceptable. So, there is this constant internal battle between reality and imagination, past, present, and future states. The way we feel is dictated by the difference between the “reality” we depict in imagination, and our expectations. Often, there is a gap between those two elements. And in that gap, there is a state of perceived suffering and unhappiness, which is largely determined by our internal biases and distorted thinking.
There is value in being grateful. The kind of gratitude for what you have right now, without conditions and strings attached. This moment is all you have. Getting stuck in the expectation gap is a recipe for constant, deliberate dissatisfaction and resentment.
As William Irvine underlines in his Stoic meditations, negative visualization is an inherent part of Stoic meditation. Remember—and feel it—that you will die (memento mori). What you have right now is all you have. Why not be grateful for it?