Carrying opposite emotions

There is a tendency in most close relationships for partners’ emotions to influence one another. At times, when one person displays sadness, the other might become more upbeat in response, almost as if to steady the emotional boat.

There is a certain inherent subconscious fear of imbalance, for some reason. As if being in the same state is threatening to something—predominantly the self, the perceived stability and predictability of the relationship, and similar artifacts.

Some people fear joy and other “positive” emotions more than sadness and other “negative” emotions. “Positive” emotions are much more overwhelming than “negative” ones, for most people. And they don’t provide alibis—there is no victimhood accepted in joy or bliss. One can’t play the role of the victim when such states are predominant.

It doesn’t have to be this way, though. Just because something exists, it doesn’t have to persist if it’s not serving any longer. We can see through artifacts and dissolve them. It’s quite an effortless practice rather than one that requires effort and discipline. We can be welcoming of perceived psychological discomfort while also remaining gently alert to possible surrounding threats. The vast majority of the time, those perceived threats are hallucinations stemming from identification with fear.