Clinging to non-egoic attachment is itself egoic attachment
Clinging to non-ego is itself ego. When you try to let go of your ego, it may circle back around you. Some major eastern philosophies and traditions such as Buddhism and Taoism are centered around dissolving the ego. In the Western version of those traditions, we have tended to idealize a non-egoic self for the betterment of the world. But isn’t wanting to be egoless itself a manifestation of the ego?
The concept of *ego *in Eastern tradition stems from the word ahamkara, sense of self. In contrast with the Freudian ego, the Eastern ego corresponds to the way we attach our feelings, thoughts, and actions to our identity. We seek fame, social status, material possessions, and hedonism in order to frame our existence in a desirable manner. We cling to our identities, shaped by ourselves and the people around us reinforcing them. “I am a brilliant student.” “I am a fitness athlete.” “I am someone who never smokes.” There is value in using identities to shape our habits and improve our well-being. What if we lose those identities?
Then our egoic self would crumble into pieces if we are not careful enough with understanding it beforehand. It takes significant inner work and a deep internalization of the many facets of the ego to let go of it. And the path is not straightforward. Quite the opposite. If you think you are ego-less, you may not be so. What does it feel like to be ego-less? What does it mean to completely drop your ego?
I do not know the answers to such questions. But there is a risk in trying to escape the ego, I would argue: you can get trapped in the identity of not having an ego. And that is the ego itself. Just another identity you are clinging to. This seems to be a potential downside of Eastern tradition as interpreted and practiced in the West: you do not need to “unattach” yourself from the egoic self. You merely do it. Softly, carefully, with attention and openness to experience. Then you cultivate such practice while continuing to exist in the world. You notice your angry reactions and drop your ego. You notice your happy reactions and drop your ego. You notice your identification with being non-egoic and drop your ego.
“It’s dark because you’re trying too hard,” said Susila. “Dark because you want it to be light. Remember what you used to tell me when I was a little girl. ‘Lightly, child, lightly. You’ve got to learn to do everything lightly. Think lightly, act lightly, feel lightly. Yes, feel lightly, even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.’ I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig. Lightly, lightly—it was the best advice ever given me.”
— From Island by Aldous Huxley
Resources and Further Readings