Fear is scary

A characteristic of fear is that it can be addictive in some ways. You protect yourself from fear because that’s all you know, or maybe you don’t even know it; are not aware of it. You sense a yearn for connection with others, so you attend a self-defense workshop.

You show up at the workshop bringing your whole cabinet with you, because who knows you may have forgotten something, or maybe you need something you hadn’t thought about, god forbid you were found unprepared.

The whole session there is a thick barrier between “you” and everything else that’s not “you”. You leave the event with a certain sense of disattisfaction and victimhood; maybe you’re just not made for this and are destined to be as you are.

An outside observer notices your internal posture of identification with fear, closure, the fear of fear. This is the thing that prevents anything to happen at all. If you notice it and choose to surrender to it, something may start to blossom by itself.

You realize the things you wish to do, you can merely do - no stories, excuses, narrations, essays needed (they could be present if you wish, because ultimately they don’t define the experiences but they have practical utility when interacting with the rest of the world).

You can engage with anything, no matter how scary or threatening to your sense of self it appears to be. Anything is interesting if you offer a posture of interest towards it. At the same time, there doesn’t have to be an interest in everything.

Light and ready, all the time.