If software is catered around your needs, it doesn’t mean you are entitled to complacency and overly high expectations

As computer scientist and author Cal Newport remarks in episode 185 of Deep Questions, friction is not always bad. I believe there is value in such a reflection, especially based on what I notice in the “productivity”/software space in this historic period. It seems there is an underlying, broad belief that software can solve most of our problems in life, merely because it is software. In truth, this belief may be a by-product of the inescapable finitude and uncertainty of existence, which we all need to face and deal with at some level.

There are a ton of software tools out there available for use, for pretty much any domain of personal and professional life you can think of. Software has become increasingly sophisticated over the past decade and exponential improvements in technology have unlocked a myriad of new tools and use cases. Similar to high-end clothes or other material possessions, you may fall into the trap of believing that a certain type of software/product is the solution to your life’s suffering. And you somehow found it and now your existence will feel much better.

Consider this may be an illusion. Hedonic adaptation is real. That’s the phenomenon for which you adapt to the new purchases, sensations, or beliefs you have in life. When you buy a new car, you may experience your levels of hedonism (happiness, gratification) rising up high for the first week or so. A few days after the purchase, your hedonic levels will gradually go back to baseline. This is regression to the mean in action. Any unusual event happening in your life will likely last for a limited amount of time, until when you get back to your “mean” state of being.

Your “mean” state of being may definitely shift over time. While there is a baseline “mean” you tend to gravitate around no matter what happens in your existence, you can shift that “mean” up or down the curve by refining your mindset, wealth, and experience of reality. According to the field of psychology, your “mean” existence is also determined, to some extent, by your personality. Personality is believed to be mostly fixed, although you can learn to “manipulate” your personality traits through deliberate practice.

For example, say you score low in trait extraversion (read “The Big Five Personality Traits”). Generally, that implies that you draw more “energy” being by yourself or with a close friend compared to spending time in social situations with groups of people. Throughout your life, you may work on “becoming more extraverted”. So, you may consciously and often expose yourself to social situations and large gatherings. And you will learn to adjust and tune your behavior and energy in those circumstances. You will become more “effective” in big social situations. That doesn’t mean you have magically completely shifted your personality. Rather, you have deliberately worked to “improve” your situation. You will still feel relatively drained by big social events and crave some alone time to gain energy and mental clarity back.

Now, let’s get back to software. We could akin software to physical products and attribute hedonic adaptation effects to it, just like for physical products. When you start using new software, you may feel like you have found the answer to all your needs to put your life together. You outsource such a belief to an external software/product because inquiring within feels more complex and scary and prone to failure. When you discover that the software hasn’t improved your life condition much, you may feel resentful or frustrated. Consider this quote from psychoanalyst Carl Jung: “Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. He who looks outside, dreams. He who looks inside, awakens.”