Negotiation: What You See Is Not All There Is

There is an orange. And there are two brothers wanting that orange, at the same time. It's breakfast time. A conflict begins. Now, a first, simple solution is to split the orange in half, with each party getting equal outcome. This would not require much thinking and discussion. What do these people intend to use the orange for? Do they both want to eat the orange, or squeeze it and make an orange juice? What is their why? Upon further investigation, we may discover that one of the brothers would like to make an orange juice, while the other intends to use the peel of the orange to garnish a piece of cake (does this even make sense?). Great news. The two can now find a 100% rewarding solution for both. Brother 1 will use the fruit for his juice, and brother 2 will use the peel for his garnishment (Organizational Behavior, Robbins & Judge).

Collaborating. This might be the key word, and concept, behind negotiation. Collaborating in order to achieve the best outcome. Intentionally collaborating in order to establish real relationships, which will last in the long term. Collaborating and listening openly and honestly. Because collaboration is not the same as compromise. In fact, these are two different concepts and approaches to conflict and negotiation, as Robbins and Judge point out in the book Organizational Behavior. A compromise involves, by definition, a settlement for less than the most optimal solution for the parties. Collaboration requires truly wanting the best outcome for both parties, and calls for truly using all the resources available in order to come up with optimal points of contact, where relationships are valued, as opposed to the mere transactional stroke.

The idea of negotiation appears rather tough and convoluted. When confronted with the concept of negotiation, there seems to be this widespread belief that there are winners and losers, in negotiation. The belief that negotiation is a bit of a tense fight between the parties involved. We tend to associate negotiation to war, politics, conflict, radical change. And yet, if we dig deeper into history and daily life, we can witness negotiation processes take place all around us, and likely be embedded in the way we function in social structures.