On strategy and cultivating one’s own garden
Work cannot fix a deficit of love. Whether it be self-love (in the form of self-confidence or self-esteem) or external love (human relationships with other people). You may design your life to seek external validation, and that is part of the human experience. You may not find longer-term fulfillment through this approach.
Work can be part of a broader life strategy. And a strategy feels uncomfortable and possibly unclear — but has a strong reason behind it. As author Cal Newport posits, lifestyle-centric career planning can be the best choice when it comes to designing your work (and life) choices. Fundamentally, this paradigm aims to eradicate seeking external validation and focus on your personal preferences and attitudes instead. When you focus on yourself for some time, love may follow. Love for yourself, which can then turn into love and gratitude for the broader world.
That individual approach to love can scale and become powerful at societal levels if everyone focuses on themselves first in order to expand their consciousness into society as a consequence. One must cultivate one’s own garden, as Voltaire points out in "Candide, ou L' Optimisme". We may keep a good distance between ourselves and the world, and never tie our personal mood to the condition of a whole nation, or people in general.
Your deficit of love may not be fixed through others, at its core. It may be fixed through yourself, to begin with. Attaching your self-worth to other individuals and groups can easily sway your decision-making and attention. Attention determines your focus and time investment. Attention is valuable and can make a difference in your strategy and life direction.
And at some point, it may come a time when you have allocated enough attention and resources toward yourself and can expand your reach outward toward fostering other individuals and groups. That time may be now, or later. You will know it.
Losing a balanced life in pursuit of self-improvement can have detrimental effects too. You may get lost in self-isolation and self-grandiosity. That may be just as dangerous as not focusing on your own garden at all. Being part of society and interacting with others is natural and a necessary human activity. You may not want to lose sight of that either, in the pursuit of finding your deficit of love while watering the plants in your own garden.
RESOURCES LINKED