Rules are made by other clueless humans like you - you can respectfully push the boundaries
This seems to be an implicit form of knowledge within individuals who are able to achieve their targets and follow desired trajectories in life: that often, explicit or implicit rules are made up by other humans who preceded you, and with the same cluelessness about life as you. You can respectfully push the boundaries on established rules and question them when you are confident in your ability to set a better rule or circumvent the existing rule without getting “hurt” or “hurting” others.
This concept is the underlying principle behind Alex Banayan’s beliefs and book The Third Door, a narration of the author’s journey to achieving goals through non-obvious yet legitimately available paths that cut through the lines of rule-followers. It is a concept deeply embodied by storyteller Matthew Dicks, who shares his thoughts on the importance of respectfully pushing the rule boundaries in this conversation.
“So I take that approach to most of my life, which is “let me see what happens if I don’t do this thing” - because almost always what will happen is someone will say “hey, you need to do that thing”, and I say “oh my gosh you’re right, I’ll do it next time”. And then I know it has to be done.”
With the same token, rules are there for a reason, most of the time. They represent a heuristic (mental shortcut) to keep order and prevent excessive chaos. Chaos is very often deterred by the human mind and conceptualized as a negative external force difficult to control that can bring trouble. Rules help stabilize order and keep the “daily business” going without hiccups. Rules can also provide stagnation and a complete lack of progress when too many rule-followers are part of the systems within which the rules are contained. Rules are also a deterrent against exploitative individuals who chronically try to evade them and generate chaos and drama for their own benefit. That’s the case in human beings who score high in the Dark Triad traits (psychopathy, narcissism, Machiavellianism), who are a very loud and often powerful minority, sneakily seeking every opportunity to fold situations and people for their own gains.
Rules appear to be a default defense mechanism we enact to maintain order and guard off unnecessary chaos in personal and social life. You can be aware of the rules of the games you are playing, and push their boundaries when you deeply believe you have a better solution or are in a special position (whether psychological or situational) to be able to find a better way, a third door to the club.