Tension is who you think you should be, relaxation is who you are - Naval

In “The Almanack of Naval Ravikant”, there is a quote that I found resonating and valuable when I first encountered it:

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.

— Buddhist saying

This reminds me of “On Becoming a Person” by psychologist Carl Rogers, where the author posits that in order for you to “become a person”, you need to accept your authentic self, let go of the ego, and the corresponding masks with which you navigate everyday life. This is also valid for making decisions in life, or living free from nervousness and anxiety: to make progress you need to look for—find—the truth. You can only find the truth when you get the ego out of the way, because “ego is the enemy”, as author Ryan Holiday put it in his bestseller book.

Ego may also be what prevents you from living fully in “relaxation”—establishing your authentic self. Ego is clinging to things, thoughts, feelings, people, concepts, ideas, your personality, your attitude, your past, your future vision, your political beliefs, your philosophical beliefs. When you cling to something, your vision is fogged and unclear. Being a “clear thinker” is a better compliment than “being smart”, as Naval Ravikant points out in the book. Clear thinking happens through relaxation and dropping the ego. There is no concept of relaxation without the concept of “tension”. Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.