The reverse bucket list
According to happiness researcher and practitioner Arthur C. Brooks, the degree of happiness in our life is determined by a simple yet complex division: haves divided by wants.
Haves are what you already have in your life, whether it be physical possessions, relationships, mindset, or internal feelings. Wants are what you desire to have.
As in any division, there can be two ways to increase the result: increase the nominator (haves), or decrease the denominator (wants). You can select either of those options, assuming you intend to increase happiness, which I will define below.
Except there is only one rule you can’t get rid of (due to its stubborn and natural source): when you increase the nominator by one factor, the denominator automatically increases by the same degree.
That is hedonic adaptation, or the inherent tendency of humans to quickly adapt to novel circumstances and possessions and never be fully satisfied with their current situation, always seeking more.
Therefore, you can see why both methods of increasing the value of happiness work mathematically, but only one works really (i.e., decrease the denominator) - due to the effect of hedonic adaptation and its push to constantly strive for more money, status, possessions, etc.
Happiness is not a feeling. It is a matter-of-fact state of being that is aligned with your values and beliefs. To this end, Brooks highlights three fundamental “macronutrients” of happiness: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning.
*Enjoyment *is experiencing pleasure with others to create memories. *Satisfaction *involves achieving something with struggle and delayed gratification. This component of happiness benefits the most from decreasing the wants and appreciating the haves in your life now. Meaning is the overarching answer to the question of why you are alive; a belief that transcends yourself as an individual.
One protocol to increase your appreciation towards what you currently have is the reverse bucket list. It is what it sounds like: instead of writing down or dreaming about the items on your bucket list (what you would like to achieve and experience in the future), keep track of what you already have experienced or achieved until the present moment. Write down those stories and revisit them regularly. Allow a sense of appreciation and gratitude to fill your consciousness, which increases your fondness for what you currently have.
And you can still keep a bucket list. Still, with this practice and concept internalized in your persona, you will allow yourself to hold your desires more lightly, and appreciate your current situation more wholly and convincedly, which is one key recipe for heightened happiness.