When are you stubborn vs. determined?
The persistent are attached to the goal. The obstinate are attached to their ideas about how to reach it.
Worse still, that means they'll tend to be attached to their first ideas about how to solve a problem, even though these are the least informed by the experience of working on it. So the obstinate aren't merely attached to details, but disproportionately likely to be attached to wrong ones.
I find it hard to discern between being stuck in a decision out of obstinance primarily driven by resistance to change and all its implications vs. correctly pushing forward despite failures or possible alternative options. For example, after years of working solo, should I consider hiring someone and experience building a team, growing a company, and moving more to a manager/leader position? Or should I stick with the fundamental principle that has driven me since the beginning (that is, to remain a company of one and optimize for personal well-being and lack of drama that may stem from involving other people)? Does sticking with the initial principle correspond to being stubborn, attached to an old belief that doesn’t serve me well anymore and that will eventually lead to the extinction of my business because of stubbornness? Or is it the correct thing to do given the success I have been having with it?
This is a huge element of decision-making. When do you pursue different options vs. stick with the current path? Both options can change the course of your circumstances surrounding the decision, to the same degree that both options can change nothing or even produce a regression in progress as perceived by you and the other people involved, if any.
One proposition in this spectrum is habit-related, where the most common general advice is to pick a habit, and stick with it long-term no matter what because that’s the only way to make your objective come to reality. At some point in that long-term horizon, you will likely feel stuck to a habit you decided to start pursuing years ago because of a specific state of mind or objective you had then. Now, changing that pattern that’s so embedded in your life feels like a huge lift. It can be akin to the process of removing alcohol addiction because practically anything can become an addiction when we attach a disproportionate part of our identity to it.
According to Paul Graham, being persistent is better than being obstinate because the two are fundamentally different:
When you look at the internal structure of persistence, it doesn't resemble obstinacy at all. It's so much more complex. Five distinct qualities — energy, imagination, resilience, good judgement, and focus on a goal — combine to produce a phenomenon that seems a bit like obstinacy in the sense that it causes you not to give up. But the way you don't give up is completely different. Instead of merely resisting change, you're driven toward a goal by energy and resilience, through paths discovered by imagination and optimized by judgement. You'll give way on any point low down in the decision tree, if its expected value drops sufficiently, but energy and resilience keep pushing you toward whatever you chose higher up.
One way to determine whether you are being persistent or stubborn can be to reflect on the five distinct qualities (energy, imagination, resilience, good judgement, and focus on a goal) of persistence and assess whether your current path is driven by those, or if you are stuck in your current patterns merely because of resistance to change (stubborness).
Does it feel energizing or draining?
Do I still feel driven and committed to the original goal — the reason why I am doing this in the first place?
Do I easily find ideas of ways to improve the situation and does this exploration feel fun?
Do I often run experiments adjacent to the current path?
What are 3 recent failures I have experienced?
What are 3 recent successes I have experienced?