state of mind to get feedback - repost

Feedback is somewhat of a state of mind. One that is open, unjaded, vulnerable enough, attentive, receptive. In order to properly receive feedback, you will need to be in the correct state of mind and period of life. In the same way as a startup should only ask for feedback when they are ready to work on it. These are 5 principles I deem valuable when it comes to asking for feedback.

1. Only ask for feedback if you mean it and are ready for it. Being able to genuinely ask for and receive feedback is an interpersonal skill you can foster. It requires a deep inquiry within yourself. Don't ask for feedback unless you are ready to soak it in--all of it. You can also start asking for feedback when you are not completely ready for it so that you expose yourself to the loss of self early on.

Before asking for any feedback, it is crucial that you internalize the state of mind to get feedback: completely open to listening, radically unjaded to criticism, and accepting of what's received. When you enter such a state of mind, then you may ask for feedback, open up, listen carefully, and follow the remaining principles below.

2. If you didn't ask for feedback, that's still a gift you're receiving. Ascend into the correct state of mind to grow instantly. Sometimes you may receive feedback or comments from people close to you without you asking for feedback.

On such an occasion, observe your emotional reaction that may arise in the immediate, and let go of it just as immediately. If you incorporate the knowledge that feedback is a gift, it will be easier for you to drop into attentive listening and open-mindedness quickly.

3. The correct state of mind to receive feedback to grow is to drop into full presence and shutter your mind-made barriers to the self. I explained this already in point #1, but believe it's worth re-stating it in a separate point of its own.
4. Don't incorporate all the feedback you receive. Some feedback doesn't deserve to be incorporated. Giving feedback is a skill too, and not many people cultivate it deeply enough to be able to provide true value. Discerning valuable from non-valuable feedback is a skill as well--just as much as the ability to drop the ego and listen attentively.

Often, people providing feedback did not think deeply enough about what to say and will provide socially desirable feedback to you merely to fill the gap. Be able to identify such a scenario, and then only keep the most valuable 1% of what they said as a growth point. 1% is still more valuable than nothing, in your journey to becoming a person.

5. If you notice something particularly valuable about the feedback you received, let the feedback giver know passionately. They are also clueless, and some direction can help them profoundly. Reciprocity is one of the fundamental social mechanisms at the basis of human interactions within a functioning society.

Show appreciation to the feedback giver in some way. Say thank you, and mean it. You know what it feels like to give valuable feedback and how hard it is. If you get the chance to get valuable feedback, show appreciation and let the person know because they are just as clueless as you in human behavior and life.

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