Meaning as an antidote to the hedonic treadmill
While it is widely believed that happiness is one of the objectives to achieve in life, I would infer that having a meaning is a much more profound and worthwhile goal to encounter in life. I am using the word 'encounter' because meaning is to be found within us rather than be sought after compulsively.
It feels quite normal, that happiness roller coaster. You feel happy one day, or moment, for some reason or event happened to you, and one moment later you feel again that emptiness and dissatisfaction for your life, as if you were the only one living on earth and suffering. Well, that sounds a bit catastrophic and depression-like. But I have come to notice in life that happiness is this kind of temporary experience taking place inside of us because we feel valued in some way, or our work is appreciated at a certain moment in time.
As Giacomo Leopardi argued, during the course of our life we experience 'many happiness events'. Which implies that there is no such thing as one happiness that we should spend our life seeking. That seems a very appealing theory to me.
If we take a look at the scientific definitions of happiness and meaning, there is a key difference that can be noticed right away. While happiness seems to depend on an attention to the present moment and is usually associated more with takers than givers, meaning derives from an harmonic cohesion of past, present and future and usually has an internal locus of control* associated with it.
Although they can sometimes overlap and coexist, meaning and happiness are two different concepts, and no one is better than the other per sé. They are just different.
When thinking about happiness, a parallelism comes to my mind. Between happiness and goal-setting. We are usually instructed that setting goals and working to achieve them is probably the best way to tackle life and improve as a person or in a career. When I say goals I mean objectives set to be achieved over the medium to long run such as 'losing 30lb' or 'earning 10000$ a month'. While there's nothing wrong with neither of those targets as for the aim and substance, they have two definite characteristics worth pointing out: they are externally-oriented and finite. Externally-oriented because they are based on an arbitrary, quantitative measure that has nothing to do with the person setting the goal; finite due to the fact that once achieved their lifespan is finished (and then what?).
And these characteristics, one could argue, are somehow related to happiness. Here's why: when you work hard and manage to accomplish those 'external' targets, a spark of happiness will likely arise in you. But it will also fade away after little time. And then, what? Well, there are probably 2 paths to follow once an external goal is achieved: either set another goal and keep running that hedonic treadmill* or just feel a sense of achievement and quit. Which is why 'falling in love with the process' and focusing on building habits that last may be a more fulfilling choice when it comes to goal-setting. But a mindset switch is necessary. From a goal-oriented finite mindset to an infinite mindset of continuous improvement and meaningfulness. Mindset which can be built through practice, habits and an internalization of the belief that we, as individuals, have a lot of potential to become better at the game of life.
The expectation gap
We, humans, are good at forming expectations, but not very good at being right when predicting reality. This Ted Talk about the expectation gap is an eye-opener on this front. It seems like our happiness depends on our expectations, which, in turn, are determined by what we consider normal, which is a distortion of reality based on our imagination, others around us and the past we experienced. Consequently, as Nat Ware (the author of the Ted talk) argues, happiness is in fact determined by 'reality minus expectations'. So, the expectation gap is the dissonance between what we expect to happen and what actually happens. If the outcome is better than the expectation, then the level of happiness skyrockets; if the outcome turns out to be worse than expected, then happiness goes down.
Having a meaning, a deep reason guiding our existence, may represent an antidote to the constant expectation gap roller coaster.
But how to find meaning? Probably by doing; by trying different activities and finding out what it is that keeps you in flow state more often than not and makes you feel selfless. To find meaning, I would also argue, we need to internalize the idea of living life without relying on expectations, which may sound disillusioned. But meaning goes beyond expectations per se. It does not stop in front of obstacles; it acknowledges the inevitable presence of obstacles along the path; it does not depend on other people's actions; it is intrinsically-driven.
““Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.””
FOOTNOTES
internal locus of control: individuals with a strong internal locus of control believe events in their life derive primarily from their own actions.
hedonic treadmill: the hedonic treadmill, also known as hedonic adaptation, is the observed tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.
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