On the cultivation of (quiet) confidence
A powerful motivation that may often linger in the background of your mind is the desire to impress or compete with others in an imaginary race.
You may also feel tempted to share your achievements widely and bury your non-achievements deeply, seeking validation and recognition. This impulse stems from a desire to be seen and acknowledged, potentially increasing your chances of gaining fame, influence, financial rewards, or personal satisfaction.
This is all normal and part of reality to a certain extent. The intensity depends on your unique blend of personality traits and mindsets acquired throughout your life. We often think of the world as changing while we remain fixed, when in fact it's quite the opposite—the changes you perceive are within your state of being at any given time.
Consider the idea that confidence—the innate feeling of self-worth regardless of circumstances—can be quiet. You can do things for their own sake, performing them just as well when no one is watching as when someone is. This approach has an unexpected benefit that your primitive brain might crave: people will admire your ability to excel without seeking external validation. You can simply thank them and continue doing your thing.
Quietness compounds over time, like investing regularly in exchange-traded funds (ETFs). Quiet action builds momentum and belief in your ability to achieve things. This is one of the most impactful mindset shifts that can make a difference in what you achieve in life.
Limiting beliefs are the major elephant in the brain preventing you from reaching your vision of the life you want. These are the negative stories you tell yourself about what you can or cannot do or achieve. Limiting beliefs stem from a fixed mindset—the belief that you're in a static state where improvements can only happen in your dreams and hopes, not in reality. This mindset hinders exploration (trying new things or starting something you wish to), because exploration demands an initial period of naivety and awkwardness. This feeling of self-conscious discomfort can only be overcome through consistent, humble practice.
You may also unconsciously fear change, even while spending significant mental energy complaining about your current state. Mindset is only one part of the equation for quiet confidence; action is the other.
Taking action can be daunting because it's practical and requires the courage to be disliked—to metaphorically shed your old skin for a new one. Upon reflection, you might realize you're content enough with your current state that you don't feel compelled to take action or change habits.
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
