We are what we repeatedly do
““We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.””
If you are anything like me, at some point in your life you have begun to feel a pressing urge to become a more examined, developed version of yourself. Your life has started to feel overwhelming to some degree, and you felt that there must be something you can do to sort things out, bring some order into chaos, strive for self-actualization, tap into your own true potential.
No matter how big your aspirations, from improving your organizational skills, experiencing a more intentional way of being productive, to wanting to change the world around you or have a bigger-scale impact, you are aware, deep inside, that the change must start from within; it must start from yourself and your intrinsic motivation to do things that are meaningful. Although this feels very true, the monkey, procrastinator mind does not seem to like this reasonable and responsibility-empowering realization.
According to existentialism (existence precedes essence), we are what we do. Not what we say. Not what we think. We are what we do, how we behave and interact in and with the world and people around us. This seems a very reasonable way of depicting human beings and defining them; probably the most accurate view you have ever come across. And as your urge to sort your life out is still there, you embrace the existentialist ideology, and begin to become aware of how the habits you have define who you are. It's not what you say, which often times is simply a conventional tool used as a signaling noise with the aim of taming the inner mammoth and fit in the societal hierarchy and anxiety-inducing social mechanisms. It's the way you act that really matters.
You uncover a previously-unexplored concept: you wake up every morning, and you are in complete charge of the way you carry out your existence, your attitude, the meaningfulness of the activities you take part in, the steps to be undertaken in order to get closer to the individual you want to become, and the life you want to live. This new perception makes you feel overwhelmed, scared, vulnerable, relieved. It is frightening because it is a call for responsibility and full ownership of the decisions you make. It is a relief on account of the fact that it feels somehow liberating, to believe that you can decide the course of your existence and that your are in control of the way you experience the world.
So, you decide to cultivate habits, starting small. Because it is by starting small that you can then expand, over time, to the higher-stake vision you have. Step by step, with a mindful attitude. But where to begin from? Which area of your life? Which small habit? You encounter a lot of fog in the mind, a difficulty to make choice and decide on the process. Developing habits that are meaningful requires discipline, internal locus of control, and putting rewards off, a precious human capacity, but one of the toughest ideas to internalize, which requires a future-oriented mindset rather than the inherent instant gratification spike-seeking behaviour.
The dopamine spike seems the most unsurmountable obstacle to face, because who wants to delay rewards when you can have spikes of excitement instantly, easily achievable through modern day tools and technologies.
Changing the state of things corresponds to making a paradigm shift; a switch in the way you live, where your vision is aligned with the actions and habits you implement in the present moment, so that cognitive dissonance is almost eradicated. Switching mindset is a first milestone habit toward becoming a mindful, flowing organism which is able to intentionally decide what activities to take part in and where to allocate time and energy at any given moment based on the goals, priorities, and feelings of that moment.
Habits
So you have finally decided to tap into the potential of habits, or as Charles Duhigg would put it, The power of habits.
And you are also aware of the fact that establishing powerful and meaningful habits, however small they are, calls for a detachment from the current identity you, and the people around you, have given yourself, and an acceptance of the constantly flowing and changing nature of your existence. This is a very relevant point you come across. Indeed, what very often stops us from diving into unexplored territories during our life is the deep resistance toward letting go of the identity/ies we have attributed to ourselves, with the contribution of the people around us. Letting go of this resistance can be liberating and open the third door.
The best way to form habits that last is to tie them to your identity. This does not mean you need to become slave or prisoner of a certain identity. Not at all. Rather, a good manner of approaching habit formation is to link the habit you want to establish to your identity, in an inclusive and ever-evolving state. Being very attached to the process, but very detached from the results and from social approval | disapproval.
Habits are inherently in tune with the process of acting them out. Not with the final result. It is the process of sticking to a habit that is aligned with your higher vision that makes the difference in the long run, not the result of achieving a milestone along the path. It is carefully crafting the actions you do on a regular basis that makes the difference on the person you want to become.
You come to another great habit realization: the compound effect of habits.
Like in finance and the interest rate on certain financial tools, the compound effect applies to habits too. The habit game is a long-term one, like the investing game. And it needs balance: become enslaved to it, and you will hate your existence; intentionally choose the habits you have and reflect on them, and you will possibly reach your highest potential, only through long-term consistency.
The compound effect rule goes something like this: the potential you can achieve in 10/20/30... years' time by having meaningful habits is exponentially higher compared to the potential you will achieve if you just went through the motion of life, guided by mimetic traps.
So you start to feel very motivated and more clear-minded by all of this habits world. This time I will do it, you tell yourself.
Mindfulness is a key part of the game. You figure out that you also need a way to track your habits, or at least to remember about them, because life is busy and you need to make sure the habits you want to establish fit into your daily existence. (James Clear and Thomas Frank have got some great resources on tracking habits).
As the time goes by, however, you feel a need to reflect and adjust the course of actions you are undertaking. Reflection and making incremental changes is a key part of habits. You may change your direction in life, discover that the habit you are trying to stick to is meaningless and does not feel right, or simply need to change an already-established habit to a new level.
After significant time, you feel somehow transformed by the realization you have made: how powerful habits can be when it comes to changing the way we live our life and the type of person we are. Changing ourselves requires a change in the way we act, on a daily basis. And habits seem to have been providing meaning to your existence, and you now feel as if you are living a more examined life.
Relevantly enough, you have changed your identity, and discovered that it is possible to be a floating and constantly evolving organism.
And the discipline of creating and sticking to habits has had snowball effects on other areas of your life: you are in charge of the choices you make regularly. (But don't forget the role played by luck in events). You are now living more intentionally, fully deciding on which activities to spend time on, and getting closer to self-actualization. You are what you repeatedly do.